Uplift with Humphrey Bumphrey is a cultural and artist program covering and featuring the best in art, music and poetry in England. Hosted by Humphrey Bumphrey, it is produced by the Aqueerius and Omnibust Foundations.
In this episode, Bumphrey (Benny Hill) reveals the show will feature an interview with St. John Bossom, the author of "Love, Bread and Crumpets," "Do You Have the Flu," "I Was A Witch Doctor's Clerk" and the science fiction novel, "The Thing Without A Thing," but first he features a visit to the new Dimpton on Sea's new culture complex where Nicholas Parsons interviews curator Fred Scuttle. The two of them are having a casual interview over a Picasso artwork when Bumphrey switches to them; Scuttle has to nudge Parsons to start the interview. He starts out by asking Scuttle which is his favorite works, and Scuttle points to a painting, claiming he created it. Parsons reveals it as a work of Reubens, but Scuttle means the Ladies Restroom sign under it. Scuttle goes on to describe "Edward Edward" Reubens as a figurist who liked painting images of ladies, adding later he was "a dirty old man." He goes on to "Johann Sebastian" Rembrandt who painted old ladies, calling him "a twit." He makes a joke about Van Gogh's missing ear, which Parsons misses, mentioning that artists have strange peccadilloes. Thinking artists are a strange lot, Scuttle thinks these are the strange scaly things that David Attenborough brings home. (Armadillos.) Comparing classic and modern art, Scuttle claims modern people all look alike, showing off the "Mona Lisa" and "The Cavalier." He thinks Parsons should have a painting done, saying his face looks out it wore out two bodies and encouraging him to be a model. Scuttle also describes having a gypsy singer to attract guests.
Back in the studio, Mr. Morley (Benny Hill) interviews Speedy Zapper. an actor, writer and quick change artist, who shows off his ability to change clothes in a flash and become other people, like Jenny Lee-Wright wearing a sexy bustier with black tights.
Joanna Bakewell-Tart (Lesley Goldie) starts her interview with East End poet St. John Bossom, who interrupts her with excerpts from his new book, "Life is a Double Bed." When she asks just why life is a double bed, he asks her not to analyze it. He mentions his entire family are non-conformists; his mother cooks with kerrygold. He denies being a smoke addict and having long hair. Bakewell-Tart asks if there's any artists anymore, and Blossom points out all the graffiti in his neighborhood, some with grammatical errors. He wraps with more poetry from his book.
Returning to the studio, Bumphrey is caught reading a comic book. Briefly parting from it, he reveals that the Samuel Pepys Singers neglected to appear at an exhibition. He rectifies it with the group singing Pepy's Diary followed by Old Lady Mary.
- This sketch was a parody of the British arts television series, "Aquarius." Humprey Bumphrey is a pun on the host, Humphrey Burton.
- This was partially remade as a Fred Scuttle routine with Henry McGee on April 16, 1980