The Widow is a beautiful and wealthy brunette heiress named Maria who lives alone in a huge estate in or near London. Her only company is an elderly manservant named Gaston (Jackie Wright) and her pet greyhound. On walks around her estate, she gets the attention of an old German colonel (Benny Hill) and a starving organ player (Jackie Wright).
Maria has two suitors in town identified as Benito the Butcher (Benny Hill) and Henri the Tailor, who are both competing for her hand in marriage. When they arrive at her mansion to court her, they both covertly destroy each others gifts. Once inside, Benito slams a door on Henri trying to enter a room and hands him a vase full of water as he tries to analyze it, splashing himself with water. At dinner as Benito is enjoying pudding, Henri tugs at the table covering so that Benito gets a spoonful of mustard. That evening, Benito fakes a heart attack while departing so Maria will have to take care of him, but it is Henri coming to his rescue.
Over the next few days, Benito tries serenading Maria, getting hit by a window pane and doused by water for his efforts. During Henri's visits, Maria gets tired and bored by his long rambling talks, but she perks up as Benito comes singing to her again, only to be attacked unseen by her dog. When Henri tries to gain her favor with violin music, Benito reveals the hidden violinist (Ken Sedd?) in the bushes.
Realizing they can't keep ruining each other's chances, Benito and Andre decide to duel it out with a mediator (Charles Stapely), but the mediator as it turns out is the one getting most of the abuse. Finally, they decide to trick Maria into making a decision by pretending to kill each other; the one she rushes to is the winner. When she finds them both seemingly dead, she rushes to her choice... Her manservant, Gaston.
- The Widow is played by Dee Dee Darlington.
- The Hand through the German helmet gag is repeated in Gavin Blod.
- The actress playing the maid in the window is unidentified.
- The mansion and exteriors in this sketch looks like the same filming location used in numerous sketches through the 1970s episodes, including Bionic Boy, Grand Wheelchair Rally, the beach scenes of the Body Building tag from June 26, 1977 and the grounds visited by Digger Blue on May 30, 1978.