The Benny Hill Show Wikia


Episode: 10
Date: March 2, 1972
Musical Director:
Producer: Peter Whitmore
Writer: Dave Allen, Austin Steele and Peter Vincent


  • Coming Up


  • Coming Up



  • Dave Allen - "It's getting very hard to drink."
    (one voice) What is this thing they call a breathalyzer?"
    (second voice) It's a bag that can tell how much you drank."
    (first voice) I married one of those bloody things!"

  • Dave Allen - "I got picked up - stopped, and I don't know about you but I refused to suffer the ignominy of standing in the middle of the night in the rain blowing into a bag. I wouldn't do it. I couldn't find my mouth." (about breathalyzers)

  • Dave Allen (as a priest) - "I don't know how it is!" (while mocking a parishioner)

  • Dave Allen - "Why do I look for humor in religion? In Ireland, we have a very old saying in which we say you will often gather the most corn from the field with the largest crop."

  • Dave Allen - "I often think about what does God look like, and there's only one man who has ever seen God, and I said to him what does God look like. He said, she's black!"

  • Dave Allen - "Here's something I often think about, I think about does God believe in God? I mean, I believe in God, but who does he believe in? And if he doesn't believe in anyone then he's an atheist, and if he's an atheist, he'll never get to heaven. Because Old Nick believes in God, and look what happened to him!"

  • Dave Allen - "In telling gags about religion, I often wonder if God has a sense of humor. I hope he does - I'm in trouble if he hasn't. He'd be very hard to tell a gag to wouldn't he? You'd start it and he'd tell you the end."

  • Dave Allen - "It is said that one drink is enough, two is too many and three is not nearly enough!"

  • Dave Allen - "I just had a phone call from Rome. I'm outed again." (poking fun at himself over the nature of a previous religious sketch)

  • Dave Allen - "They ask do you get in trouble for telling religious gags? Do I get into trouble for telling religious gags?" (chuckling) "Of course, I do!!"

  • Dave Allen - "I do believe there is a heaven for atheists, but nobody's there."


  • Geoffrey DeWitt is the name Dave signs off with in the TV Reporter sketch.
  • The name of Dave's fictitious medical doctor in the opening medical sketch seems to be Doctor Gregory Palmer.
  • For one of the religious sketches, Dave pays homage to "Doctor Who." Doctor Who was a very popular science fiction series in England with its own following across the world.