The Benny Hill Show Wikia


The Nursery Rhyme Song is a Vaudeville-style ditty sung by performers Luke and Tinker (Benny Hill and Jackie Wright) on a simple set with a painted blue sky. Luke wears a loose coat that hides his right hand which has Tinker searching for it. They identify themselves in the song.


(Note: The accuracy of these lyrics has yet to be confirmed.)
Good evening, everybody,
How do-you-do-you-do?
We would like to introduce ourselves to you.
People call me Luke because I'm not so hot…
And people call me Tinker because I drink a lot


If you're interested, if you have the time…
we would like to sing you a little nursery rhymes
like Jack and Jill went up the hill
or hickory dickory dock
And Mary had a little lamb,
But the doctor died of shock

Baa baa black sheep have you any wool
what the heck you that is on my back, you silly fool
We’ll turn the black wool into garters for the women of whom we’re fond.
And then those in memory of those who have passed beyond.


Mary, quite contrary, how does your garden grow?
It grows very well because I got a brand new hoe.
I put manure in my rhubarb, and manure on my flowers.

You put manure on your rhubarb?
We have cream on ours.

Hi-diddle-diddle, the cat and the fiddle,..
So everybody thinks….
I wonder if it knows part of his brother was part of the strings,
And then the cow jumped over the moon.
At least that’s the part we have been told.

I guess it was because…
The Farmer's hands were cold.

So, was he broken-hearted cause he felt her teeth, so dear.
I guess he never had the thoughtfulness to say, “I love you. Dear.”

Mary had a wristwatch.
She swallowed it one day.


And now she eats some pills….
To pass the time away.

So, now you're on your own…
To go off and tell the truth.

What goes, “Tiddle-Tiddle?”
A piddler on the roof.

Now, the time has come for us to go, I fear….
So, now we’re into Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year!