The Benny Hill Show Wikia


The Gay Caballero is a comedy operetta performed by Benny Hill in the opening of March 16, 1983 episode. The number features breaks for comedy dialogue with the other cast members in roles and speaking parts.


(Note: This transcription is from the episode; as such, some of the lyrics are missing due to sound issues or estimated.)

I am known as the Gay Caballero
I'm as fast as a stallion I ride
To the ladies I am known as a hero
But in Santa Fe, I have yet to find a bride
I must continue my search for that maiden
Where her smile beams under those curls
I think it's a crime that there's so little time
And so many beautiful girls.


I took Anna May to a restaurant
She said, "I guess I'll have champagne
"Then lobster and steak and some wild strawberries."
I said, "You better think again."
Lolita was rich when I met her
And went and she threw it away.
She went and invested it all in a chicken farm
Then realized all the roosters were gay.
Around at her flat, she sat on my lap
<unknown line>
I said, "Show me you're really my baby."
She did and she piddled all over my shirt.


A red rose fell from her bedroom window
And a large crowd gathered round this young elf
They all asked what happened
She said, "I only just got here myself."
Then someone brought a tumbler of water
They got it from a tap that was handy
She said, "I fell fifty feet and got brandy,
"How far do have have to fall to get brandy?"

Oh dear lady, show me your face
To hide such beauty would be a disgrace
Hair soft as satin, body of lace,
I beg you sweet lady.
Cover up your face!


Jon Jon Keefe - Please give these to the pawn broker's daughter.
I think of her more times than I oughta.
Elfrida Ashworth - My father won't let me be with any kind of man.
Jon Jon Keefe - Then these are for her, and that's for her dad!

(Indistinct lines between Benny Hill and the Hill's Angels)


Benny Hill - I know I can't have Lola Palola...
Carol, Karina or Marie...
Jane, Janetta or Lola
Louise English - If you like, you can try for all three.
Benny Hill - Thank you for your kindness, dear ladies
But I'll smile as I tip my sombrero
But if I can't have the girl I have come for
It's good-bye to the Gay Caballero!

Hill's Angels - But if he can't have the girl he has come for
It's good-bye to the Gay Caballero!