The Benny Hill Show Wikia


The Egg Marketing Board Tango was an opening number performed by Benny Hill on March 24, 1971. It was performed on stage with The Ladybirds doing the background chorus.


It's the Egg Marketing Board Tango...
In other words, the dance of love.

Now, you go down to the pally, and you're eager for a dance,
You see a lovely stranger, and your eyes meet quite by chance.
She's warm, and she's desirable with a figure meant to be hug,
So you stand eight feet apart and do the thrug.
But in the tango, you gets the chance to hold her oh so near,
And you gaze into her lovely eyes of blue.
And while you're dancing, you whisper sweet nothings in her ear,
And she says, "Sweet nothing doing," back to you.


Now, ou give her ear a nibble, you give her cheek a peck,
You've got her in a grip of steel, you're breathing down her neck.
And then she says those magic words that thrill you through and through,
"You've been eating pickled onions, haven't you? Oh poo!"

Once I met a girl called Kitty who was pretty as could be,
She lived up in the city and she asked me around to tea.
But pretty, witty Kitty, she tried to pull my leg,
So I hit her, what a pity, with a soft-boiled egg.


The wireless played a tango and I held her in my arms,
As we swayed and we glided around the room.
And when her dad come in we carried on, alas I didn't know,
He was deaf and he couldn't hear the tune.
He punched me in the earhole and he hit me with a vase,
He chased me down the garden and he kicked me on the grass.
So now I swear I'm finished as true as stars above...
With the tango, the dance of love.