Bio[]
The Beach Of Waikiki was the opening number on January 8, 1975. It was performed by Benny Hill on stage with a tropical-style backdrop. He started it as a comedy monologue before going into the song, intermittently breaking for Hawaiian chanting and Diana Darvey dancing near him during the chorus, leaving a sash near him each time, accompanied by more one-liners, until the end.
Lyrics[]
On the beach of Waikiki, there lived a lovely maid,
Who cannot keep her body still when her favorite song is played.
If you sing the chorus in Hawaiian, they say she'll appear...
Not only will she dance, but she'll give you her souvenir...
(Benny sings several Hawaiian sounding words as Diana surprises him by dancing near him.)
One day, she brought a book so she could learn to water ski.
Then she spent a fort-night looking for a sloping sea.
But when she hulas in her long grass skirt, the excitement never stops...
And all the farmers say they love the way that she rotates her crops.
(Benny sings several Hawaiian sounding words as Diana again dances near him.)
We lay upon the sand one day beneath a cloudless sky...
I bought her a crimson rose to match her bloodshot eyes.
"Oh, let's get a little bolder, my shy young thing..." I said.
She got a little boulder and dropped it on my head.
(Benny once again sings several Hawaiian sounding words as Diana again dances near him.)
She said, "You give me half a crown And I will read your palm."
Then she saw my love line went halfway up my arm.
So now, she changed her prices, although she's just as willing...
It's big fat men a two pound ten and little boys a shilling.
(Benny's keyboard shorts out as Diana gets too close. He ends with a "roll on toast.")