The Benny Hill Show Wikia
00michael caine


Not A Lot Of People Know That is a comedy monologue performed by Benny Hill during an impersonation of actor Michael Caine on the January 7, 1981 episode. Caine is best known as Benny's co-star in The Italian Job.


Did you know...
Did you know on the island of Batang
There's a guy by the name of Sukiyaki Dan
Who doesn't know the war is over.
He goes on eight walks daily.
Did you know his mother came from France,
And his dad is Japanese, and every year he goes
And he bothers Pearl Bailey.

Not a lot of people know that.

And did you know that when Burton Ash
Decided he'd like a mustache he went up
And bought a can of Wiskas.
And did you know the odds against
There being a bomb on a plane are a billion to one?
They pretty much figured out what the risk is.
And did you know the odds of there being
Two bombs on a plane are a million times a billion to one.
So the next time you go on plane to go abroad, cut down the risk.
Take along a bomb.

Not a lot of people know that.

Benny michael caine

So, when I tell my wife these interesting facts,
You should see how she reacts
She says they're privileged glimpses of the bleeding obvious.
Like that bloke in number twenty-two
Whose parrot died from the flu.
It flew under a Number 7 bus.

She just says, "I know. I know. I know."

Did you hear Phil Kelly went out one morning wearing one willie
Because he heard there one be only one foot of snow?
Did you know nothing sucks seeds like a budgie with no teeth?

She looks up and says, "I know. I know. I know."
She says, "Look, love, don't you see? All this don't interest me.
"In fact, I find it positively boring.
"I've been sitting here listening so long, my little bottom has gone to sleep."
I said, "I know it has. I heard it snoring."

Not a lot of people know that.

I said, "Do you know what they call a dog who's got no legs?
"Well it don't matter, 'cause. he won't come anyway."
And did you know when my mate Fred ordered a lager
The bartender asked, "With bread?"
And he said "With two slices if I may."
I said that bloke next door must be a plumber
Because he says all night, "Over, Flo."

I said, "Roses are reddish, and violets are bluish,
if it wasn't for Christmas, we'd all be Jewish."
She just says, "I know. I know. I know."
I got my lorry backed up to the zoo.
Do you know what I'm going to do?
I'm going to pick up that elephant that died last night
Then with the help of my pals we'll take it over to my house,
winch it up to the bathroom and stick it on the seat.
And then I'll go and watch TV because straight at half past three,
She'll come home, go straight up the stairs
And she'll say, "What are we going to do? There's an elephant on the loo."
And I'll go, "I know. I know. i know."
Not a lot of people know that.