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Legend001

Bio[]

The Legend of El Paso (or Jake as it also appears in some lists) was a ballad performed by Benny Hill on February 18, 1976. It was performed on a Western-style set in front of a saloon backdrop with Lorna Nathan, Eddie Buchanan, Jackie Wright and Henry McGee on back-up.
The town of El Paso also appears in two more routines. The song, "El Paso" was sung by Eddie Buchanan on December 17, 1975 for a Western-themed sketch. Benny also sang Rose of El Paso on March 12, 1975.

Lyrics[]

(These lyrics might not be accurate.)

Now, to the side of Catcher's Lake
There lives a big guy known as Jake
Why he's so tough he leaves the shells on when he swallows clams
Why he's so hard and mean and cruel
He darns his socks with steel wool
And his soup comes from hydraulic rams.

Legend003

He's got a neighbor called Leroy
And he sure does hate this boy
Cause he's a smartass, got a quick brain in his head
Why, he could sell a nudist clothes
Or ice cream to Eskimoes
I reckon he could sell the Pope a double bed.

He came to the bar <...>
When young Leroy ambles in
Says, "Ain't been in this here place since I was a kid.
"I see they've done up the saloon
"But I sure do miss that old spittoon."
And Jake looks up and says, "Boy, you always did."

There is no room in El Paso
There is going to be a showdown
Men, forget your guns and lassos
And get out of town

Leroy says, "Why is he such a louse?"
And as we <...> in his house
He entertained me royally, I had quite a groove.
And by the side of my plate of ham
I see a napkin with a monogram
Or I thought it was until I saw it move.

Legend000


I ain't gonna say he's mean
But outside his house I seen
A man with a bill for five days on the run
Jake says, "Look, I shoot to kill.
"Would you swear that was a man with a bill?"
He said, "Well, either that or a duck with a stetson on."

Jake said, "You pushed my grandpa off the roof."
He said, "You know that ain't the truth.
"He just slipped into the rain barrel with my Cousin Beth
"And for hours, Annet and Carol
"Tried to sort of lift him out of the barrel,
"Well that old boy was ecstasy'd to death."

There is no room in El Paso
There is going to be a showdown
Men, forget your guns and lassos
And get out of town

Leroy says, "You ought-ta take more care
"When you go out a-hunting bear
"You shot my prized pig and watched him die."
Jake says, "To show my heart's real big
"I'm gonna replace your pig."
He says, "Okay, you'll find the sow out in the sty."

He says, "I like Jenny Lark,
"She claims that one night in the dark
"She was raped by your son, Joe, she swears it's true"
He said, "Well, if it was dark, how did she know...
"That it was my son, Joe?"
He said, "Because she had to show him what to do."

Leroy puts down his beer
He says, "I'm getting out of here."
He wanders off into the night so black
Then they see Jake depart
And they know that in their heart,
Only one of them boys is a-coming back.

Jake was buried out of town
Just six feet underground
And they couldn't pin his murder on a soul
Because he was tying up a knot
In his shoelace when he was shot
And the sheriff never found the bullet hole

There is no room in El Paso
There is going to be a showdown
Men, forget your guns and lassos
This is a real nice peaceful town

Episode(s)[]

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