The Benny Hill Show Wikia
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Jose's Cantina was the closing act of October 14, 1970. It was performed by Benny Hill, accompanied by Two's Company and Los Zafiros in a cantina-like setting on stage.


I met you in Jose's Cantina.
Oh, you looked so lonesome and sad.
So, I said with a wink, "Let me buy you a drink, and maybe things won't seem so bad."

You ordered a large champagne cocktail then vodka and wine from Verona.
And as I bought it I suddenly thought, "It's no wonder that you're on your own."
But by then, I had fallen in love, but you laughed at the way that I felt.
With your black cowboy boots and your cowgirl-type suit, and your hop-along chastity belt.

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You took me across town to your place.
My eagerness I could not hide.
As you walked across the floor and you locked the front door,
Why did you leave me outside?

So I went to my Uncle Hernando, saying, "My heart is filled with desire.
"But the lady says no, and all the waters that flow from the mountains can't put out the fire."

He said, "When a lady says no, she sometimes means yes, you young hothead."
I said, "That may be so, but she didn't say no," She simply said, "Go and get knotted."

So I came here and I sang 'neath your window, from midnight 'til dawn, half past three.
Oh, tell me, sweet lady, sweet lady, pray tell me,
What was it you emptied on me?

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I came here to old Barcelona,
To pick the sweetheart of my life,
And I gave you my heart, but we drifted apart,
So I'm going back to the wife.