The Benny Hill Show Wikia


Fatricia and Feter: The Pinal Foem of Faul Pinch is a manuscript created by poet Paul Finch and narrated by Benny Hill. Benny starts out by explaining that Finch was near-sighted, and that the repairman who had fixed his typewriter was equally nearsighted, accidentally switching the "p" and "f" keys in it. This error creates a speech pattern much like Fan and Fufan by Solomon St. Paul in Benny's All-Star Finale and Fad-Eyed Fal in Woodstick).


Fatricia waf juft pipteen...
When she fell in love with Fete.
He was pishing in the river with galoshes on his peet.
He sfeaks pirst. “Is the water deef here?”
“Pour inches." she reflied.


He fut his poot in pront op him,
And sank uf to his aff.
As he struggled to the surface covered prom hand to poot in mulch,
She said, “That's punny. It only goes halpway up my duck.”

She noticed he was peeling paint...
So, she grabbed him by the arms.
He said, “Are you rich?”
She said, “No, I peed myself with pood grown on my parm.”

Years went by, and Fete left town.
And so did Fretty Fad.
She joined the Metrofolitan Folice Porce.
Her pather was froud op that.


One day, she was facing uf and down…
And she heard a paint cry in the street.
Someone was flaying a piddle.
In the gutter, there stood Fete.

She could tell by the look on his pace…
He was peeling fretty broken.
He said, “I lept my wipe, you know.”
She said, “I heard you had gone.”
“Flease, flease, go away.” He begged.
She answered in smiles.
He said, “I've been in frison since I saw your smile.”
He said. “At least I had pood there.
“And over my head a roop.
“Ip I had stayed in there with all those men...
“I would have become a raging pool.”


She held his hand,
As they were wed at the Chafel of St Faul.
They honeymooned in Niagara,
And she had him by the pall.

They now have pour children,
And lipe por them is great.
You just can't foint out that pickle hand of pate.