Dickey Dido is an American country and western singer who speaks with a distinct American southwestern accent. He seems fond of telling long stories from his past. One of which involves his Grand Pappy Blooper, who could tell the time from the udder on the family cow. However, he reveals he did it by lifting the udder high enough to read the town clock. He also reveals the cow died of a broken heart and how his Grand Pappy gave him a book on Ancient Greece with stories on Zeus, Andy Rockles and Dodgy Knees. (He actually means Androcles and Diogenes.) He refers to the Cyclops as "Cycle-Clips" and reports that Pythogoras had a "therum" that hurt him. He also reports arithmetic, algebra and trigonometry because he hated kids and tells the day Pythagoras created the "Eureka" expression.
He also reveals that there are so many Chinese in the world that if they all marched into the ocean that there would be another generation to enter the ocean by time it finished. This leaves him to reckon they're doing something else in the line before entering the ocean. He goes on to sing Rachel with The Ladybirds.
In his first visit to England, he is interviewed by Patricia Hayes and both compliments her and insults her with back-handed comments. He describes getting into music through his Grand-Daddy Blooper who sold him his guitar on his deathbed for thirty dollars. He names his back-up players as Martin, Barton and Fargo, who he discovered singing outside of a smokehouse. His singing partner is Miss Pearl (Eira Heath), who he describes as "kissing kin."
- Dickey Dido was played by Benny Hill.
- This introduction was a prelude to Benny's song Golden Days with Eira Heath.
- The Ancient Greek tall tales are repeated by Gaston LeClerc on March 25, 1981.