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Crime Does Not Pay is a crime prevention video hosted by Patricia Hayes discussing just how effective the police department is in practicing the law and stopping crime. It begins with a police officer (Nicholas Parsons) checking on the welfare of a local inebriate (George Roderick) as a radical pedestrian (Benny Hill) shouts offensives slurs. Unfortunately, the drunk thinks he's the one being insulted and threatens the pedestrian who then starts yelling for the police officer to come back.
In her host segment, Hayes asks if the public has the police force it wants or the police force deserves. In the public commentary, Tex Cymbal's brother calls the police force useless before complaining about his stolen bicycle pump, a housewife (Benny Hill) complains about the police harassing her son who has known psychopathic tendencies (he and his father both have cells in prison) and a hippie (Benny Hill) claims the police only protects the police. He also says possessions aren't important up until he realizes his motorbike was stolen.
Nicholas Parsons interviews Detective Inspector Fred Scuttle to defend the accusations about the Police Force. He defends the British Law Court and debunks the accusations of police brutality. He also tells the story of Officer Arnold Potts who had his nose broken while stopping an ex-con from beating his wife, but Parsons is more interested in a graph showing a spike in arrests. Scuttle reveals it was caused by Police Officer Goosend, who had backed up into Scuttle causing the high spike. He also tells the story of two melons stolen by a young lady from a vendor and how the officer struggled to do his investigation.
Scuttle also shows Parsons photos of twelve suspects wanted by Scotland Yard, adding that eleven of them are now in custody. However, Parsons shows they're all photos of one man.
Trivia[]
- It's kind of curious that Fred Scuttle is a policeman in this sketch and again in the Villain of the Year sketch on February 23, 1977 while in many of his appearances he's an entrepreneur with numerous entertainment-related projects.
- "Stolen bicycle pump" was also mentioned in Tex Cymbal on March 26, 1975.
- Benny's hippie girlfriend is played by Jenny Lee Wright.
- George Roderick also starred with Benny in Eddie In August.
- There is a poster of Raquel Welch from "One Million Years B.C." on the wall of the police station.
