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Colleen04

Bio[]

Colleen was the opening number on February 4, 1970. It was introduced by Nicole Shelby and performed by Benny Hill with The Ladybirds doing back-up vocals.

Lyrics[]

Now, Jock sat in the emergency ward as nervous as he could be.
Nurse Colleen said, "Now, what's that there just above your knee?"
He said, "Oh, that's my sporran, ma'am." She said, "Now there's a scream...
"For ten whole minutes, I've been trying to give it a saucer of cream."

Colleen, Colleen,
Oh, I'm aching for you.
Colleen, Colleen,
My heart's breaking for you.

Colleen02


She rubbed me thumb with liniment and it turned me thumb all red.
I said, "That made it smart," so she rubbed some on me head.
And I couldn't eat peas with me knife and fork. She said, "Now never you mind."
She went and she got a celery stalk, and we rolled them down one at a time.

Colleen, Colleen,
Oh, I'm aching for you.
Colleen, Colleen,
My heart's breaking for you.

Now, she's got a touch of the foul pest, and she acts in a very odd way.
She thinks that she's a chicken, and she cackles all the day.
"Oh, send for the psychiatrist." Her poor old father begged.
But Mum says, "Let the girl alone. You know we need the eggs."

Colleen03


Colleen, Colleen,
Oh, I'm aching for you.
Colleen, Colleen,
My heart's breaking for you.

Now, we've married, and we've settled in a cottage near Ravout.
The bed is all broken, and the springs are sticking out.
But when I recall our nights together, my heart it wants to sing.
We kissed all through the winter, and made love right though the spring.

Colleen04

Colleen, Colleen,
Oh, I'm aching for you.
Colleen, Colleen,
My heart's breaking for you.

Episode(s)[]

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