Chow Mein is a Chinese entrepreneur with a number of businesses and enterprises around England. His real name is J. Arthur Mein, and one of his enterprises is the film industry, having created the film Beyond The Bamboo Curtain. Although he thinks he has a mastery of the English language, his Chinese accent tends to warp certain words into other words ("America" into "A miracle"). This tends to result in a lot of frustration in Mein as he has a hard time understanding the confusion and calls his interviewer, usually Nicholas Parsons or Henry McGee, a "stupid iriot." He is sometimes antagonized himself by the Hindu accent of Mamood Ramsun. Mein is also married; his wife is also frustrated by the English/Chinese language barrier. He is also acquainted with Chu-Em Gumm, the Chinese Overseas Minster from the People's Republic of China.
Despite his early reputation as an entrepreneur, it appears he later falls on hard times, ending waiting on tables at the Hotel Splendid and later trying to get work as a ventriloquist.
- Film producer in Great Mysteries with Orson Buggy
- Chinese Overseas Minister in Jackie Wright: Holiday
- Chinese Restaurant in Cinema: The Vintage Years
- Cow breeder in Benny's All-Star Finale
- Guest on "Meeting People" with Nicholas Parsons in Down Memory Lane
- Owner of Chinese circus in A Packed Program
- Hotel Splendid waiter in The Monte Carbolic Show
- Ventriloquist in Benny Hill's World Tour: New York
- Chow Mein was played by Benny Hill. His wife was played by actress Zienia Merton.
- When Mein first appears in East Meets West, he's a flutist in an orchestra at London Palladium, his wife is revealed as an English singer and his first name is "Chicken." He also implies he was forced into marriage by his wife and in-laws.
- Mein often uses the nick-name "Cookie" to refer to others.
- The Underwater World Of Jacques Custard
- Down Memory Lane
- Cinema: The Vintage Years
- Great Mysteries with Orson Buggy
- Jackie Wright: Holiday
- Benny's All-Star Finale
- A Packed Program
- The Monte Carbolic Show