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Chow Mein

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"Hello, every-bloody...." - Chow Mein

Bio[]

Chow Mein is a Chinese entrepreneur with a number of businesses and enterprises around England. His real name is J. Arthur Mein, and one of his enterprises is the film industry, having created the film Beyond The Bamboo Curtain. He has also owned a restaurant where he started as a cook who fried chips (ships) for the customer, later hiring Mamood Ramsun as an waiter. Although he thinks he has a mastery of the English language, his Chinese accent tends to warp or sound like certain words in the English language ("America" into "a miracle"). This type of confusion tends to result in a lot of frustration in Mein as he has a hard time understanding the confusion and calls his interviewers, usually Nicholas Parsons or Henry McGee, a "stupid iriot." He is also similarly antagonized and frustrated himself by the Hindu accent of Ramsun as well.
Mein is also married; his wife gets similarly frustrated by the English/Chinese language barrier when she meets McGee. He is also acquainted with Chu-Em Gumm, the Chinese Overseas Minster from the People's Republic of China. His fortune allows him to indulge in other jobs as pursuits, such the owner of a circus and as a breeder. Many of these jobs and positions land him interviews with McGee. However, his fortune falls apart when he's called up before the Dimpton-On-Sea Rural Council (Pat Ashton, Henry McGee and Roger Finch) on infractions and practices in his restaurant. Fired by Mein, Ramsun reports to the council on the unsafe working conditions and lack of sufficient help. Mein counters that Ramsun was an unsatisfactory employees, but the council decides to support Ramsun, awarding him back wages for ten weeks and an inconvenience fee of 25 British pounds and 65 quid. At first, Mein promises to throw something in himself, but then he learns he'll be paying Ramsun all the money.
Despite his early reputation as an entrepreneur, the case seems to ruin Mein, and he falls on hard times, ending up waiting on tables at the Hotel Splendid and doing home catering for a dinner party, where he runs into Ransum again as an old friend. Mein also later attempts to get work as a ventriloquist for a TV series.

Businesses[]

Trivia[]

  • Chow Mein was played by Benny Hill. His wife was played by actress Zienia Merton in 1972.
  • When Mein first appears in East Meets West, he's a flutist in an orchestra at London Palladium, his wife is revealed as an English singer, and his first name is "Chicken." He also implies he was forced into marriage by his wife and in-laws.
  • Mein often uses the nick-name "Cookie" to refer to others.
  • Helen Horton plays a bailiff in the Industrial Council sketch.
  • If Chow Mein's dummy looks familiar, it's because it's the same one Benny used in Newer Faces in 1975.
  • Twenty-five British pounds and 65 quid in 1980s England is probably around $210.00 in American currency when this episode aired. Today (2025), it would be around $870.00. While Mein likely could have afforded this, it's possible the fallout of the case ruined his other businesses.

Episode(s)[]

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