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Bianca0

Bio[]

Bianca Malone was the opening act of the January 26, 1977 by Benny Hill and the cast. It was set with a Caribbean-style beat with support from Diana Darvey, Jenny Lee-Wright, Edgar Buchanan and the members of Reflections. During the routine, the men and women separate on backstage and end up with each other's voices.
The American version of this song changes the British references with American references; for example, "John Conteh" gets replaced with "Mike Tyson."

Lyrics[]

Bianca3

Oh Bianca, lovely Bianca

Now, Bianca Malone weighs thirty-eight stones,
She's got eyes like rissoles in the snow.
She comes from St. Kitts, got a big pair of mitts,
She could lay John Conteh with one blow.
When she lays in the sand, the tide goes out and...
Refuses to come back until she's gone.
One day she bent down to pick up half a crown,
And we had an eclipse of the sun.

Oh Bianca, lovely Bianca

We went for a stroll, she said, "Look at, that's a bull,
"And that's a cow, and that's a sow, and that's a boar.
"And just look at that, Joe!" I said, "Bianca I know,"
She said, "Well what do you want to tread in it for?"
By the barn door, we knelt down in the straw
And she said, as she gave my hand a squeeze,
"Would you like a roll in the hay?" and I said, "Okay,"
She said, "Do you want fish paste or cheese?"

Bianca1

Oh, lovely Bianca, big fat Bianca, Like a peach on an apricot tree,
I would charter a tanker and sail to Sri Lanka,
To thank her for her company.

Now, this big fat girl has got a map of the world...
Tattooed all over her skin.
One day she showed me Japan, the Gulf of Siam,
I even had to peek at Peking.
On her left knee was West Germany,
Russia was on her right thigh,
But when I looked and saw my wife at the door
I let the rest of the world go by.

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(Oh Bianca, lovely Bianca)

So, I divorced my wife, and I began a new life,
With Bianca on the honeymoon cruise,
Our wedding night, it was great, I even let her stay up late
To listen to the six o'clock news.
Now, I am never blue with my queen of tattoo,
A happier man could not be found,
I've got heat in the winter, I've got shade in the summer,
And moving pictures all the year round.

Oh, lovely Bianca, big fat Bianca,
Like a peach on an apricot tree,
I would charter a tanker and sail to Sri Lanka,
To thank her for marrying me.
(To thank her for marrying me)
To thank her for marrying me.

Episode(s)[]

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